Thank God I'm off school. It's starting to wear me out. If you see me now, you can't tell whether I'm doing a zombie cosplay or that I AM the zombie. (Both are true. Kinda.) And I'm rlly excited for Eid holiday and Eid food and Eid money!!!! Although a 10-days break is nothing to brag about compared to summer, but it's still something to celebrate because I'm very tired. And the fact that I still have loads of work to do is ugh.
Middle school and high school seems like a different alternate universe. The teachers, my parents, and people around me suddenly treat me differently. Like I'm older. Well yeah of course, but have you ever felt like you're the only one in this world who stays the same?
Nothing stays, not this world, not even my sister whose mood changes constantly every 5 second. My friends change. Even my condition changes, I've slipped from one life to another as easy as finishing one book then picking up another. A new adventure, as one says. The only thing that doesn't change is my state of mind. I'm not terrified of change, I could just move along, going with the flow or stuff. But still, everything seems weird to me. Like, a second ago I was there, how the fuck did I get here???
Although everyone expects me to act like a high school kid, to me I'll always be that 12 year old staring at everything, continuously fascinated. I'm always excited to do things but I can't do them the right way. I mess things up and then cry. And I overthink stuff all the time. So much to do, so little time! In 2 years I'd have to choose my college destination. I want to go on a student exchange program. Oh and, the group presentation is next week. Would I fuck shit up this time?
The future scares me. I don't want to have an ordinary life, going to college, graduate, work at a boring-ass office, marry a maybe even more boring guy, and have some kids. I want things to be different, I want to have something to remember, I want people to smile when they read the story of my life. But idk how and I'm really afraid of going to the wrong directions becoz there's no going back this time.
Basically, THIS. She speaks to me on a deep spiritual level, deeper than I have spoken to you above so click her. (Her vlogging style is just like John Green's but the fact that she's a 15 year old fangurl makes her much more relatable. If you're also a fangirl, then check THIS because adflskjfljk!!!)
Throwing out one of Taylor Swift's early shtuff just because.
Enjoy ur weekend or summer or random break or whatever :]
*rides unicorn to the sunset*
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